


Waiting For That Day

by ausfil



Category: George Michael (Musician), Westlife
Genre: Boys In Love, Death, Emotional Hurt, George Michael Tribute, Grief/Mourning, Love, M/M, Past Character Death, Pining, Reminiscing, Romance, Short & Sweet, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Stargazing, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 06:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausfil/pseuds/ausfil
Summary: Shane's waiting for that day to meet his love again.





	Waiting For That Day

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by George Michael’s ‘Waiting For That Day’, my favourite song of his.
> 
> It’s the first anniversary of George’s passing, and I’ve already done a story with a long beginning note last year ([x](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9131023)) but I just wanted to say;
> 
> George, I miss you every day and it still hurts to think that you’re not with us anymore. I’ll forever be grateful for the lessons you have taught me, the courage you have allowed me to find, the liberated life you have allowed me to live, the musical gifts you have blessed me with. You’ve taught me strength and how to hold on. I cannot thank you enough.
> 
> I hope you’ve found peace and love up there. I hope you’re being exactly who you are, spreading joy and kindness and strength all over the world, and embracing all the happiness for yourself too; you deserve it.
> 
> Rest easy, my love.

Shane sat at the balcony with a warm cup of tea pressed in his palm, looking up at the messy scatter of stars that decorated the sky, holding a soul in each of them. They always seemed to calm him somehow. Tonight was no different. This was probably his favourite time of the day – after work, after trying to paint a smile across his face for long arduous hours and telling everyone that yes yes _yes_ , he was fine. He was handling things well. He was fucking strong on his own.

 

_So every day I see you in some other face_

_They crack a smile, talk a while_

_Try to take your place_

 

He wasn’t, really. Not at all. Nicky… He saw Nicky everywhere. In the morning Sun that warmed his room. In the clothes he put on that were slowly losing Nicky’s scent. In the faces he had to see every day that he didn’t want to see. In his own tears, his own laughs.

With the stars, he didn’t need to focus on anything. He would just look up through ridiculous hours of the night and forget about the world he would have to face tomorrow. He imagined a certain hand on top of his, a certain voice whispering melodies of love into his ear. It wasn’t too hard. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t hard. Because Nicky was always there with him.

 

_My memory serves me far too well._

 

“Remember the night of your thirtieth birthday?” Nicky crooned.

“Of course. Maldives. We were at the beach, nice evening walk under the stars.” Shane smiled at the fond memory warming his heart, fiddled with the ring of promise on his fourth finger. “You cried before you could even get down on one knee.”

Nicky smirked. “Yeah. I was shitting my pants.”

“Were you scared I was going to say no?” Shane looked up into blue eyes that never failed to make him feel at home.

“I was sure you were going to say yes. But I just wanted it to be perfect. I wanted you to be happy.” Nicky reached out to hold his hand while a smile curved his lips.

“I was always happy, love. Always.” Shane closed his eyes. When he opened them, he was alone with the starry sky. No hand on his. No whispers in his ear. No blue eyes caressing him.

 

_You’re a fool, boy. Why don’t you go down find somebody, find somebody else?_

_My memory serves me far too well._

Shane was always happy. Always. Even when they had a bust up, Shane was happy. Because he knew he could come back home at the end of the day to a hug and a kiss. Even when things were rough after almost ten years together, he’d never wanted anybody else.

Shane put the cup of tea down with a sigh stinging his chest and clasped his hands together. Rubbed them to spark artificial warmth. Because if it wasn’t from Nicky’s touch, it wasn’t real. If it wasn’t from Nicky’s heart and soul, it was all fake.

But he wouldn’t want it any other way, from any other heart or soul.

 

_It’s not as though it was yesterday,_

_But something I just can’t explain._

_Something in me needs this pain._

_I know I’ll never see your face again._

Shane didn’t want much. Just to see Nicky again. No, even just to _feel_ him again. Just one last time. And he didn’t care if that was through rain. Or snow. Or sunshine or moonlight. A shining star. He just needed to feel that warmth and comfort once more to hold onto it. He didn’t want to forget.

_If I have to carry this pain, if you will not share the blame,_

_I deserve to see your face again._

“Shane Filan,” the thousandth tear ran down Nicky’s face, rimming around the lips of the smile that made the rest of the world appear black and white, “will you marry me?”

There was only ever one answer Shane would give to that question.

 

_Come back._

“Yes.”

 

_Come back._

It had been well past midnight when Shane stumbled back home.

If only he called Nicky that he’d be home late, to not wait up for him and to certainly not wait outside for him to come back. If only he crossed the road first, it wouldn’t have ended this way. He wouldn’t have had to watch his love die in his arms, to feel that weight, feeling the life lifting away from the body, knowing he couldn’t do a single fucking thing to stop it.

Nicky had been waiting across the road, a huge smile on that face and a wave as he spotted his fiancé. That was the best thing to come home to. Shane had waved back, saw Nicky take an excited footstep off the pavement.

If only he’d seen the car.

If only Shane crossed the road first.

 

_Come back._

 

“No, please, Nicky…” Shane cried on his knees, holding onto a hand that suddenly didn’t feel like home, that didn’t respond or squeeze back like it used to. A body in his arms that was too still. A face that was getting too pale with thick streaks of blood trickling down.

But it was still his Nicky.

_Come back to me, darling._

Shane looked back up at the stars. Tried to study each and every one to spot the one that reminded him of Nicky the most. This became a daily routine he fell into unintentionally. He would find a different star each night, the brightest one of the night. The one that made him hurt a little bit more. He would cry to it sometimes, smile at it other times.

At the shining star that he knew was staring back at him and smiling too, waiting for that day to meet again.

 

_Don’t you keep me waiting for that day._

_I know you hear these words that I say._

**George Michael (25.06.1963 – 25.12.2016)**

**Forever in our hearts.**


End file.
